Panic attacks
13 year old female
A panic attack is exactly what the name suggests, and probably the scariest thing to experience. It's not being able to breathe, shaking uncontrollably and being filled with a feeling of pure terror. The worst thing about it is that you feel it coming on, which makes the panic even stronger. When you're in it, you feel as if you're never going to get out again, like your going insane and that you'd rather be dead. That's when my general anxiety began.
Always feeling on edge, wanting to escape and being paranoid about my actions. Realising I was different; that other people didn't have to remove themselves from class or curl up in a ball at lunch, triggered the depression. Depression is feeling completely empty inside, like there's no one and nothing for you. It's when no one understands you and you don't even understand yourself anymore. It's hating every single trait you have and believing you deserve the pain you inflict on yourself. It's wishing you were never born. It's wanting to escape everything and start over.
Getting help was probably one of the scariest, but definitely the best decision I made. Especially for an anxious person, talking about it just seemed like a way to trigger a panic attack. Help can come from so many places, and I daresay I have quite a large support team at the moment.
The psychs and counsellors don't fix the problems for you, they teach you how to cope with it yourself. They help you to know that you're not alone. Probably the most important lesson I've learnt is that a thought is just a thought. That doesn't make it true and it doesn't make it real. Even though we put more weight on some thoughts than others, they're all made of the same stuff. Just because you think it, doesn't mean you have to act on it.
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